Kyle, Simp Supreme

After donating his entire life savings to his favorite e-girl, she cursed him to forever become the thing he will never have; a giant wiener. However, by praying to a different e-girl, Belle Delphine, she was able to somewhat reverse the affects, instead making him able to shapeshift into whatever form he requires, as well as granting him Thot Vision so he'll never be tricked again. Even though Kyle can shapeshift, he must return to his baseform, Big Ol' Wiener, eventually. He is apprentice to Weeum, and follows his teachings religiously, resulting in his rampant bigotry.